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Uncomfortable experiences can be turned into something positive

Ailsa Frank shares her own experience

Everything you experience in life has an influence on you in either good or bad way. But even uncomfortable experiences can be turned into something positive. I believe the more things you try the more your comfort zone expands which allows you can cope better with life. It is good to avoid things which you would find too stressful or would cause extreme anxiety but it is useful to regularly step outside your comfort zone to progress your life.

From the age of twelve I had nine hours of ballet lessons every week. At the time it was quite draining for me as I had this commitment on top of my school homework. But looking back I can see it created a habit within myself of pushing ahead whilst being organised and focused. These skills I later used in my first career, of eighteen years, as a recipe writer for magazines and a food stylist for photography shoots for film and advertising. Being a food stylist is enjoyable and creative but it is also very demanding with pressure to deliver high standards whilst working long hours. My food styling days were very rewarding. Sometimes I would open a magazine by chance where I would see photographs of my food or when I walked around the supermarket doing my own food shopping I see my food styling in photographs on the packaging or I would see a TV commercial which I had made the food for. Most people pick up products in the shops without giving a second thought to who made the food photograph look so tempting. It takes a lot of planning by a team of art directors, photographers and food stylists working together to complete at project. As a dancer you learn to work as a team with the other performers which is a skill that helped me in my food styling days. I was happy to move on from food styling as I had given it my all and I was ready for a new career. If I could change one thing I probably would have liked to have coped better with the stress but at the time I wasn't a hypnotherapist as I am now so I didn't have those skills. Hypnotherapy would have been the perfect tool to manage stress.

With the knowledge that I have now I think it is important to view life as a series of phases not taking anything to seriously as the phase will pass and you will move forward with more skills and some lessons learnt of what you like as well as what you don't like.

I live my life now enjoying each day as much as possible. It is important to be kind to yourself along the way rewarding yourself with healthy treats such a spa day, a sauna or swim, a round of golf or anything of your choice which will enhance your wellbeing. Drinking alcohol or eating can be a way for people to escape but can also be detrimental so think carefully about relaxing ways to enjoy your spare time. If you teach your kids well they will grow up with the tools they need to create a good, happy and wholesome life. Hypnotherapy will help you to get focused to create a great life.

Parents often try to protect children from experiencing something outside of their comfort zone. Parents can put no pressure on a child to stick to doing activities for a particular length of time or they can go to the other end of the scale forcing them to do things they hate. Try to get the right balance between being kind but also not over protecting them. If your son or daughter want to give up one of their activities such as sport, dance, and gymnastics.... give them a deal where they can stop as long as the complete the term which has already been paid for by you. This way they will learn to respect you, your finances and it will teach them a valuable life lesson of having to do things we don't always want to do which will happen in the work place later. Preparing your children for the real world will help them live life with less anxiety. Explaining why we do things rather than feeling anxious to say no to them will help them understand how to function better in life.

A family sat in a cafe on the day of a mother's birthday. One family member handed a gift to the mother. The seven year old child automatically started crying because he hadn't been given a present too. Instead of the mother explaining that he should be happy for her she felt sorry for him trying to pacify him which was feeding his tantrum further. The child sat with his head leaning on the edge of the table staring down at the floor throughout the whole meal. The mother couldn't see that by not explaining to him the reason he didn't have a present was because it was not his birthday his brain flipped into a depression as he didn't have the information he needed. The mother later said she didn't want to be cruel by telling him he couldn't have a present but it was more cruel to not tell him this. Children need the explanation of how life works so they will not have bad feelings throughout their life every time they don't get a present. As I said at the beginning of this every experience has an influence on us either good or bad try making decisions for the long term bigger picture of happiness rather than a short term sticky plaster approach.

Parenting can be difficult at times. Every parent will get some things right and other things wrong. This is where hypnotherapy can be a useful tool to get your child back on track.